Sunday, January 20, 2008

Breaking News

So is it just me, or am I the only moron in the world that gets nauseous with broadcast news.  Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy some classic forms of torture.  When I was in 6th grade, in Mr. Oldroyd's class, I knew this guy who would occasionally scratch his fingers down the blackboard.  I don't think he really enjoyed doing it, but it created such a strong reaction with the girls he just couldn't stop.  I only did it...uh I mean, he only did it several times.

I may be wrong but I always thought the purpose of the news was to, like report the news.  Isn't news like stuff and things that have already happened?   It's not like I majored in Journalism or anything.  Oh wait, I just remembered, I majored in communications.  Just because I don't know how or where to use commas, don't mean I don't know how.

Ok, so here's my point, generally speaking news is the reporting of events that have already happened.  If you agree read on.  If you don't you're an idiot.  

So why then does the media insist on reporting news in the present tense?  If it's already happened it's in the past.  Hello—It should be reported as past tense.  The present tense reporting of past tense events happens every day.  It's really bad on TV, but it's even worse on the radio.

You know what I talking about.  "Man robs bank and leads police on high speed chase.  Details at ten."  I could give you a dozen examples but I won't waste your time.
There was a time when the report would have been.  "A man robbed the bank and led the police on a high speed chase".  Sergeant Friday obviously went to J school.  He understood the concept of "just the facts Ma'am".  Come on, report the news.  It's happened already.  Stop trying to make it sound more exciting than it really is.   Stop trying to make it sound like it is happening right now.  I know you are tying to boost your ratings.  I know you can't help yourself.  I understand that impulse control thing.  But c'mon average citizens aren't complete imbeciles.  Oh wait, scratch that.

Before I quit,  why do they insist on blaming the weather for accidents.  "Snow storm causes dozens of accidents".  Now really—did the snow storm really cause the accidents?  I'm sorry but I've seen the way people in Utah drive.  A snow storm has never caused me to have an accident.  
Being a moron has.  Saying "Hey, watch this" has caused me to have an accident.  But a snowstorm, nope!   Is it just a coincidence or do snow storms only cause morons to crash.  Well, either way I'm sure the newscasters know better than me.


Dave said...

I got to the point where you said, "If you don't, you're an idiot" and I stopped reading. Was the rest of your post good?

Amy said...

Another thing that drives me crazy about news & the weather - if it's not raining or snowing the anchors go off about how much we need the moisture. As soon as we do get a storm they're groaning and moaning.

Amy said...

oh and that muppet guy looks a lot like you in a sweet suit :)

Doug said...

For the record I gave that suit to Deseret Industries after I was done using it in the 70's.